This is my dad.

A boy who left Italy at just sixteen years old.
Twenty-eight days on a boat, crossing the world with his mother, his auntie and his two brothers. Following his father, who had already come to Australia to try and build a life from nothing.

They arrived carrying hope, fear, and whatever they could hold in their hands.

From there, Dad left his family in South Australia and came to Sydney. This is where he worked relentlessly to build a life, raise a family and provide in the only way he knew how. Long days. Hard labour. No complaints. Making sure we never went without.

Providing wasn’t just something he did, it was who he was.
Responsibility shaped his identity. Love expressed through action, not always words.

Even when life was heavy, he kept going. Because that’s what he believed a father did.

Dad and I have had our clashes over the years, to say the least.

For a long time, I couldn’t separate my father from the illness he lived with. Bipolar disorder shaped close to thirty years of his life. Hospital stays. Highs. Lows. Distance. Silence.

Four years ago, my dad attempted to take his own life.
I found him.

That moment changed me forever.

I’ve struggled deeply since, but I understand the choice he made. I accept it. I’m still learning how to separate the man I loved and admired as a kid from the illness that influenced so many of his decisions. Still learning how to hold compassion without losing myself in the pain.

Dad also faced prostate cancer — which he beat — around the same time Mum was fighting breast cancer. During that period, I was in my own darkest place. Absent. Lost. Not the son I wish I had been when they needed me most.

That’s something I carry.
Something I’m learning to forgive myself for.

Today, Dad lives in an aged care facility, finally receiving the daily care, stability and dignity he deserves. Our relationship is still a work in progress. I still feel grief, anger, confusion and love, often all at once.

But day by day, I’m learning.

Learning to accept.
Learning to let go of what I can’t change.
Learning to meet him where he is now.

Most importantly, learning to give him the unconditional love he has always deserved, even when it’s hard.